A Dixie Lady Deer Hunter

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Acute Observations!

A friend sent me this the other day and thought it was pretty interesting and wanted to share with you.

1.  The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Conference.  He acquired his size from too much pi.

2.  I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3.  She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4.  A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5.  No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6.  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7.  A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8.  Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.

9.  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking into it.

10.  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

11.  Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."

12.  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.

13.  A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, "Keep off the Grass."

14.  The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

15.  The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

16.  A backward poet writes inverse.

17.  In a democracy, it's your vote that counts.  In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

18.  When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.  Isn't the English language wonderful?

Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars.
~ Unknown

The nation which forgets its defenders will itself be forgotten.  ~ Calvin Coolidge

1 comment:

Jess Outside said...

"Optical Aleutian" won me over.

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